Puppers
by Lilae Kane
Summary: "I came here to adopt a puppy," the beach-and-thunderstorm guy said, his voice sounding as beautiful as his face, "But you're adorable. Can I adopt you instead?" Alternatively: In which Sirius Black flirts, runs away, and finds his wallet (hypothetically).
1. Chapter 1

_Hii! It's me, back again with a super short first chapter of a fic! I'm gonna be updating this every week (it's 15 chapters long!)_

 _Hope you enjoy!_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of JKRowling's work._

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The day after his mom broke her hip by tripping over a stuffed corgi (and subsequently falling down multiple flights of stairs), Sirius Black decided to go buy a dog. He did not research how to take care of dogs, he did not scroll through countless dog training or housebreaking FAQ's, he simply threw on a black leather jacket on the morning of September fifth, 2017, and walked to the pet store nearest his dorm, credit card in hand.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He acknowledged that he was woefully unprepared, but decided he could simply ask the hottest person at said pet store what to do (and possibly convince them to come home with him and help).

He did not expect the hottest person to be quite so hot.


	2. Chapter 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀ _Hi! I'm back with another chapter!_

 _Disclaimer: I don't own anything!_

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⠀Remus Lupin had died at age fifteen. In theory. That was when he had nabbed this job, which came with the joys of getting bitten and peed on by small animals all day.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Nowadays, when concerned relatives or interested strangers asked him what he was doing with his life, he would philosophize that he was working at a pet store because he had a way with animals, or he was saving up to go to a great college with a great writing program, or that he didn't care about society's standards for success and was happy where he was.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀This, of course, was a load of bull crap.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus was bored out of his mind. He hated smelling like dog urine all the time, hated cleaning tarantulas' cages, and hated, beyond reason, the fact that his high school advisor had pushed him to apply to challenging colleges (and he hadn't gotten into a single one).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀So, when he forced himself out of bed on the morning of September fifth, 2017, he had expected his day to be like any other.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀But, boy, was he wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything!_

 _Do you like it so far?_

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⠀⠀⠀⠀The boy was probably Remus' age. He had a certain swagger about him that said he didn't have to pay student loans yet, but that he was flush with knowledge passed on by college professors. He had surfer-dude-who'd-just-got-out-of-the-ocean-black hair, and as he pushed it back from his face with a tanned, muscled hand, Remus locked onto his eyes - they were like a thunderstorm sky.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He'd never seen anyone so gorgeous. He doubted people this hot were willing to house train a pet.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I came here to adopt a puppy," the beach-and-thunderstorm guy said, his voice sounding as beautiful as his face, "But you're adorable. Can I adopt you instead?"


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own HP or any of JKR's work._

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sirius often thought about that thing in the backs of people's minds that told them not to say things, and wondered whether it was a product of all his parents' abuse that he didn't have it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀If so, maybe he had something from them to be thankful for after all. He couldn't imagine not saying what he was thinking, especially when flirting.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The lanky owner of the alarmingly blue PetToday polo, surprisingly, had a response ready.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Sorry, we don't do human trafficking here."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sirius smirked.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀This was even better than he'd expected.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Hot snarky boy, cute puppies, and a thousand dollars to spend?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Perfect.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Here," he said, pulling Ben Franklins out of his jeans pocket and putting them down on the blue-painted counter, the employees all beginning to stare. Moving so close that he could tell exactly how much he would have to reach out his arm to touch the boy (not much), he said, "Pick me a pupper."


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own the world or characters that JKR created._

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Pupper means tit in Norwegian."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus had said it without thinking, and now that he was reaching into a pen to grab a daschund that looked distinctively hot-dog-ish, regret started to pull at his brain.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Why would a he say something that stupid to a hot boy who'd just walked into his workplace? Why would anyone?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He would never see the hottie again, he reasoned with himself. He would let him play with a few puppies until one was chosen, brief him on crates and walks and obedience class, and then let him leave for life.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀That was comforting. He could go back to routine after that. Boring, boring routine.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he cradled the wriggling daschund in his arms as he walked out to the bright visitors' play area, with its five separate cubicles (in case there were five visitors, which there never were), then froze. The hot boy was no more.


	6. Chapter 6

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀About a Minute Earlier.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sirius took in the whole shop: the bars of fluorescent light hanging from rods attached to the ceiling, the spherical glass fishbowls placed in a straight line on the counter. The employees, all shuffling around with their heads bowed, looking as though they'd rather be anywhere else.

Maybe he could convince Lily to help him write a song about the experience, if he wasn't late for class again.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...oh, fuck.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀She was going to kill him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Without a glance at the other pet shop employees (they were all too average looking to deserve one), Sirius bolted out the door, making a mad dash for NYU's Steinhardt Campus.


	7. Chapter 7

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Had he been daydreaming? Was he schizophrenic? Was that how schizophrenia worked? Were the thousand dollars in his hand the result of a robbery job that he'd wiped from his mind so as not to feel guilty?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Was this what happened when you got stuck in life?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Hey, Pete?" He called over his favorite coworker, a seventeen year old lump of a boy with a puff of sandy hair on his head, Peter Pettigrew. He didn't have a reputation for anything at all, but Remus knew he observed everything and had a few tricks up his sleeve - for instance, he'd dropped out of school to work so his family could afford to live, and his night job was at a bar. He got it without proving he was eighteen, and no one knew how.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Except Remus. Peter had had sex with the manager.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"You're looking for your customer?" Peter assumed (correctly) as he heaved a large bag of cat litter with his chubby arms onto a supply shelf. The tabby on the front of the bag looked out at the world with large, glittering feline eyes, as if it was concerned. Maybe it should have been (for humanity). "He ran off. Looked like he was late for something...maybe an orgy."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Peter!" Remus kicked him for his sins and turned the way he'd come to put the daschund away.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Now. What to do with the thousand dollars burning up in his hand?


	8. Chapter 8

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He could spend it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀But what if the guy came back?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus was a bad liar: he'd be arrested for sure.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Better not commit theft this early in life.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀After his shift, which ended at 5 pm, Remus took his red coat off its hanger, stuck beach boy's money into one of the pockets for safekeeping, and booked it to his local Starbucks to write (or attempt to. He always ended up scrolling through social media and failing at productivity).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The harsh light of the cafe was distracting, and so was the Maralia song playing through the black speakers placed in every corner of the space, but after about half an hour, Remus found he could zone in completely to the world inside of his laptop (a rarity).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe it was this phenomenon at work when he was suddenly jolted out of his focus by two particularly loud (and oddly familiar sounding) customers.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Half an hour late?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, he just ran in and told me he'd been busy."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Maybe he was having sex."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Honestly? Probably. It's just so annoying, like we have a project due in a week and if he keeps forgetting to come in I'm gonna ask to switch partners."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"You really should...Could I please get a peppermint hot chocolate?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"And I'm gonna have a vanilla bean frappuccino."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus knew that if he turned around, he would recognize the girls waiting for their drinks, but he didn't really think too much about it and tried, flailingly, to continue writing, his fingers set on top of his keyboard, unmoving, the bitten ends of his nails looking harsher to him than they usually did.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Hey, see that guy over there?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"The red trench coat guy? Yeah, why?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Don't you recognize him?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"...not really. Do you?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Think about it."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"...Remus Lupin?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He couldn't refrain now. He had to see who was talking about him before the gossip that was bound to happen began.

Slowly, reluctantly, he turned his chair around.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Lily?"


	9. Chapter 9

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Immediately Remus was engulfed in a crushing group hug from two sides.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀After what felt like a decade, Lily Evans and Alice Fortesque finally let him go long enough for him to really marvel at how much both girls had changed since middle school.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Lily had grown a lot (but then, so had he), and Alice had chopped her hair clean off. Those were just the obvious differences. Neither girls had kept the stains of middle school romances and eighth grade graduation blues; they were both practically glowing with university aura and confidence.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀'College must be nice,' Remus thought bitterly, but shook the feeling off, something he hadn't done in a long time.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Hi," he said, breaking the moment of silence between them, punctuated by three wide smiles.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"You look so..." Lily trailed off, making a face, hand gestures pausing in midair, the Alex & Ani bracelets on her wrists ceasing their music.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus raised an eyebrow. "Stagnant?" he suggested. "Bored? Hopeless? Careless? Flummoxed?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I was just gonna say different," Lily's own eyebrows travelled up, though she was still smiling as she and Alice walked the meter in their miniskirts and flowing blouses to the Starbucks counter, fetching their drinks before hopping onto the stools across from Remus. Lily answered a text with one hand as she stuck a green plastic straw into her frappuccino with the other. "Can we sit here?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Well, technically-" But both girls were giving him a look that told him he couldn't really refuse without seeming like an antisocial butt, so he stopped himself.

His persuasion skills were more than a little bit faulty, so there really was no way he would be able to make them leave.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀That, and he was beginning to realize he didn't want them to.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"So how was high school?" Alice asked, sipping her hot chocolate and regarding Remus with an expression akin to watching a really exciting movie. Remus felt lighter just seeing it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"It was good, actually. I took some interesting classes, which surprised me. What about you?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I didn't take a lot of fun classes, but Lily and I got really involved with our school musicals, which was amazing," Alice said, her eyes shining. "I'm majoring in theatre now at NYU because of all that, actually."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"That's really cool," Remus nodded, knowing that his comment was falling flat (he tried hard not to think, 'Like everything else I do,' but ended up dwelling on it anyway). "What are you taking, Lily?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I'm majoring in digital art and design." Lily held her head up higher as she said it, "But I'm taking a music class as a little extra fun. It's called composition and they're teaching me all these chord progression things and how to make lyrics sound good."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"That's awesome. You're both really artsy." Remus nodded again, his gaze becoming unfocused as his less synthesized thoughts pressed at the insides of his skull, like little slugs leaving foul slime in the recesses of his brain.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Alice poked him with the nail of her forefinger and he started. She was looking at him funny, her arms and legs crossed, eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"How are you, really?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus sighed. This was very reminiscent of middle school: his two best girl friends knowing whenever something was off with him and dragging him to the library to talk it all out. He was sure he had deja vu.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀And he liked it. Shame that he hadn't gotten into NYU.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I mean, I'm bored," he said after a pause. "Flummoxed. Stagnant. All those words I said earlier."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Lily's eyes lit up in contrast to Remus' now-somber mood.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Do you wanna come to a college party? It'll help the boredom," she said, her straw still in between her teeth.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Did he?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Wouldn't he rather, you know, stay home and whine to himself about his inner turmoil? Wouldn't that be much more fun?

Then again, watching drunk people would probably be very beneficial for his writing, because whenever he drank, he was alone, and he quickly became too intoxicated to remember what he'd been like during his inebriated state. That, or he ended up vomiting all over his floors, and, in the midst of cleaning up his mess the following day, forgot to write about the night before.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...Maybe he'd better spend some time with people other than himself.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Um. I guess," he said, partly so he sounded cooler, as if he got invited to cool college parties all the time, and partly because he still wasn't completely on board with possibly being a witness to alcohol poisoning. "Sure?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Okay!" Lily's already large smile brightened as she set down her drink next to Alice's, the latter whose grin was unparalleled by queens. "Give me your contact."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Oh, yeah. Here, just text yourself and I'll put it in my list later," Remus said, pulling his large grey phone out of his coat pocket (not the pocket the money was tucked into) and holding it out across the table for either girl to take.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Alice reached for the phone and started typing, her long bejeweled nails clicking against the screen.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"It'll be mostly NYU kids," Lily said, tossing her fiery locks behind her shoulder, "But I know a guy from my composition class who's bringing his annoying non-NYU friend with him."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus half smiled at her, but crookedly - he was trying to visually articulate his suspicion.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"...cool?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Lily rolled her eyes and shifted in her seat. "I just want you to know you won't be completely alone."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Remus' look intensified. "Wow, Lily. How kind. I feel...so loved."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Aww, come here, Remmy," Alice laughed, bringing the three of them in for a last group hug before they parted ways, the girls promising to text Remus the party details.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀'Okay,' he thought as he found his hands gliding and tapping effortlessly over his laptop keys a minute later, 'That wasn't as shitty as the rest of my life. It was...nice. Yeah. It was nice.'


	10. Chapter 10

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sirius was running around the hard wood floors of his best friend's house, flapping his bare arms as if he was a pterodactyl. The few bottles of booze in his backpack clanged together and thumped against his spine, a sound he never would have heard in his own home without blanching.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Where are we going, Sirius?" James called from the banister as he came downstairs, throwing a jean jacket, faded and ripped by the clothing company that'd made it as the trends called for, onto his shoulders. He lived right next to Madison Avenue, so he'd probably bought it, purposefully ruined as it was, for a few hundred dollars. It had come with instructions not to wash it or else it would go to pieces (but there were rips in it already, so it was a very contradictory warning).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The wavy haired boy turned his eyes to the large chandelier hanging from above the banister as he stopped flapping.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Late!" he yelled, letting out a loud bark of laughter as the world tilted without him and turned sideways, then right side up. He felt like a slinky. "Late late late is where we're going to be! A thing we can't be!"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"No! No, no, no!" James had reached the bottom of the stairs, and now stood directly in front of Sirius, clapping him on the shoulders with both his hands. His curly hair sprung up on top of his head in chaotic curls, something Sirius thought was hilarious (for no reason at all). "'Late' is an adjective! 'Where' is a spacial question! The answer is to the top! We're going to the top!"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Sirius knew that James was literally like this all the time (weird, with weird ideas that no one understood but him), and that he himself was usually worse, but he still had to ask: "Are you drunk?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"On life!" James tugged on the black straps of Sirius' backpack, succeeding in making the shorter boy teeter, the bottles inside clanging again. "Did you call the uber?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"It's been here for an hour."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Read my mind, Sirius, old pal."


	11. Chapter 11

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀James loved being the designated non-drunk person at parties. Of course he loved being drunk too, but nothing could beat the way smiling came easy to him as he watched underaged people try to drink responsibly: They usually failed.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"You're such a bad bartender," Lily Evans said breezily, walking up with her off the shoulder top and heels that made her taller than him. "You just have a table, not an actual bar."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Bars are overrated." James beamed at her. "Tables are the new bars, Evans, don't you know?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Lily rolled her emerald green eyes, tapping her nails on the table like Shere Khan from The Jungle Book.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Just get me a Heineken, Potter."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀If James was a legend, Lily was a marvel, he thought to himself as he reached under his very dignified table to get her drink. And James was definitely a legend - a hockey star in high school and the child of the most popular shampoo company CEO in the world.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He held the little translucent bottle with its foil cap out to Lily, who snatched it and turned on her heel to walk away.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"All right, Evans, come back soon!" he called after her retreating back. "Who's next?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Right on cue, a disheveled boy materialized in front of James. He wore a large red coat, a pale blue sweater, and dark blue jeans - altogether, he looked a bit strange, but James reminded himself cheerfully that this was New York, and nothing was strange there (literally nothing. He was even used to joking around with the nude guitar player on the streets of Broadway).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Hey," the boy said, slapping his hands down on the table, looking like he was trying to take in all the drinking options at once. "Can I get a water?"


	12. Chapter 12

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀James stared at him for a moment through his round rimmed glasses, because who, at a college party, asks for a water? And had this person even done that? Maybe he hadn't heard him right.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"A water?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The boy nodded fervently.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Yeah. I have to work tomorrow, and hangovers just make the piss worse."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Time for James to stare more.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Piss?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I work at a pet store."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Ah. I see."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀James took the plastic water jug with its little cubes of ice, filled a red solo cup, and set it down on the edge of the table.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The boy in the coat downed his drink as if its a vodka shot and then walked away. James' eyes followed him; the encounter had struck him some sort of way, but he couldn't place exactly what it was.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀He'd think of it someday. Probably next year. He shrugged to himself and bounced on the balls of his feet, waiting for his next customer.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"So," said a new, surprisingly sober, voice(although James would know - he was the bartender), "Got any puppers yet?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Got any what?"


	13. Chapter 13

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Puppers. In Norwegian, that means tits."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I see," James said slowly.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Staring was becoming a trend with him, he thought vaguely, and leaned forward against the edge of his table to watch as Sirius came over to his side.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Wait.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀What?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"OH I KNOW!"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀James paused for dramatic effect, during which Sirius had absolutely no reaction (he was used to James doing this by now). "You might like the guy who just stopped by," he said, peering into the circles of underage people with liquor in their hands, in case the red coated boy was still nearby.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Who?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Trying to find a needle in a haystack was hard. One would think trying to find a boy dressed like a snazzy Sherlock Holmes at the college party would be easier, but it was quite the opposite.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I didn't catch his name...only his...coat."


	14. Chapter 14

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Lily came back. It was closer to two in the morning, and huzzah! She and her best friend, Alice, had brought the coat boy with them!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Well, brought was an umbrella term for what seemed to be happening. James figured it might be more like, "DRAGGED AND CAJOLED."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The girls were very drunk, and the boy was very sober. It made for a hilarious combination, because usually a male person could fend off two intoxicated female persons, but the red coat one could not.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Okay, Reem!" Alice laughed, letting go of his arm but still grasping his hand quite tightly. The boy, Reem (but that probably wasn't his real name), rolled his shoulders and gave James a look that was pleading, if not totally pitiful.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Alice pointed at James like she was a toddler telling on a boy for stealing her baby doll. "This is the annoooyingg friend. Of friends who isn't going to NYU! I mean... the friend... not the guuy. Or...or was it the other way?"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀James, grinning, rolled his eyes and poked Sirius, although he was still watching Lily, because she had a clump of cake in her hair that was slowly sliding down the side of her head like mud, and he wanted to see if she was going to notice.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Yo, that's the guy I told you about who I couldn't find."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ No response.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Sirius!"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀But James' best friend and the Reem dude were already locking eyes and somehow everything started to feel very significant.


End file.
